Monday, December 10, 2007
Elements of an Effective Suicide
If life no longer has sweetness for you and you would like your final breath to be breathed in an air of beauty and purpose, Attractive Corpse can help.
A well-considered suicide is not a sloppy, repellent affair, but a piece of performance art, a tribute to what was and what could have been. The elements of an Attractive Corpse signature suicide include:
- An appropriate location. The right place for a suicide is private, calm, and of meaning to the intended. There should be no significant chance of premature discovery and no need to rush.
- A well-thought-out, hand-written suicide note, suitable for publication.
- No trace of malice or vengeance. Make your suicide about you, not about those who brought you to this place. Don't leave this world with angry words on your lips.
- A method that requires no unnecessary effort or pain, fits the personality of the suicide, and does not endanger others. It should not create a more difficult cleanup than necessary. Those angry suicides who wish to use shotguns or dramatically throw themselves in front of buses should look elsewhere.
- Optimal opportunity for a poetic and heart-wrenching discovery.
- An attractive corpse. This means appropriate dress for the occasion, no significant disfigurement, and an eye-pleasing final position. Lighting and setting should also be arranged to optimize the tableau.
- A complete professional-quality photographic record, after the fact.
Attractive Corpse offers the following services to its client:
- Method consultation
- Fashion and makeup (if appropriate) consultation
- Location scouting
- Location preparation (including music, lighting, etc., if desired)
- Suicide note editing and workshopping
- Scheduling assistance
- Complete dress rehearsal
- Post-discovery photography
- Referrals are available to financial planners, psychological services, and religious representatives.
We do not offer or give referrals for legal services (including will preparation) and clients are completely responsible for the legal ramifications of their actions. No Attractive Corpse personnel may be present at the time of the suicide. We will not participate in any suicide that is arranged to look like a homicide, and are not interested in aiding insincere, attention-getting attempts. All client contact is confidential until after the suicide is complete.
Note that all services must be prepaid. A partial refund is given for incompleted or unsuccessful events.
-amusing site, to die beautifully? via www.attractivecorpse.com